| The magical Mystery tour |
[27 Aug 2007|01:27pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
Friday my mom came to my room and told me my grandma was dying.
That sucked a lot. And I don't know why it hit me so hard, but it did.
Grandma lives in hutchinson kansas, about 3-4 hours away from here.
Ususally when I find out some one has died, or is dying, I don't get upset at first. I need time to process the information thats been thrown at me. But it clicked instantly and I couldn't stop bawling. I did however manage to suck it up for the drive down. We got there about 9 or so, and checked into a hotel.
When I saw her the next day, it was really really hard. We all just waited for her to die. I think thats probably what bothered me the most. Just waiting around for someone to die is one of the worst experiences of my life. I felt so horrible for my grandma, that I couldn't do anything for her, she wanted to die too, she just wanted it to be over with. Can you imagine that? Closing your eyes and hoping for death, but it just doesn't come. I think thats what made me so upset.
I was so angry that whatever was keeping her alive, just wouldn't let her go.
My grandma was pretty delirious, but when she was in and out of sleep, she looked at me in the eyes and said 'you would make a good nurse, i can tell by your hands' . She also told me to be a good girl and that she loved me.
It was really rough, and saying good bye was also really awkward. Of course we're not going to see eachother again, until who knows when, until I die I guess.
We haven't heard anything, so I think no news is good news, I guess we'll go down again next weekend, if she's still alive.
I just want to be happy again.
|
|
| have you seen this? |
[02 Jul 2007|02:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 high |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
boy meets world |
] |
The Blurb:
"The Queen decrees that it's time for the prince to marry and the search is on! Princesses come from far and wide hoping to catch his eye. Will the prince be charmed by a magical act? Tantalized by arias? Mesmerized by the miss from Mumbai?
Or will he simply follow his heart?
Enter the jubilant world of King and King, a merry and modern fairy tale of living happily ever after, sure to woo readers of any age."
The Daily Californian News Article:
"CITY PRESS FACES NATIONAL CRITICISM FOR GAY FAIRY TALE
by Matt Levin
Contribution Writer
Friday, April 2, 2004
"King and King" begins just like any other fairy tale, complete with a handsome young prince, beautiful princesses and the search for true love-until Prince Charming dumps Cinderella for another Prince Charming.
Published by Berkeley-based Ten Speed Press, the controversial children's story follows the tale of a gay prince marrying another prince after refusing several potential brides.
The book has ignited a national debate over whether children should have access to gay literature in public schools, after a first-grader in North Carolina brought the book home from her school library last month.
The parents launched a campaign to remove the book from the Freeman Elementary School library, complaining about its overtly homosexual content.
Their crusade eventually lead to the book's banning from the library's children's section. Now students must make a special request if they want to check out the book.
But Dutch children's authors Stern Nijland and Linda de Haan, who penned the book, are both straight women and don't know what all the fuss is about.
"It's just a children's book about love, and we don't understand why it's causing such a heavy response from people," Nijland said from Amsterdam, Holland in a telephone interview.
As the national furor over gay marriage and civil rights grows, "King and King," which was published in 2000, has come under increased fire,
becoming the ninth-most challenged book in the nation in 2003, according to the American Library Association.
Prince Bertie is being pressured by his aging mother to marry. But Bertie, dressed in pastel clothes and heels, is lukewarm to the idea.
"I've never cared much for princesses," Prince Bertie says.
While on the prowl for potential wives, Bertie meets Prince Lee and falls in love with him.
"Oh, what a wonderful prince," each say when they see each other.
Bertie chooses Lee over dozens of princesses, and the two are shown kissing with their lips covered by a heart on the book's last page.
"There's nothing really objectionable in this story," said Laura Mancuso, a spokesperson for Ten Speed Press. "There is no language or scenes that are objectionable to children."
And the controversy surrounding the book has also boosted sales-Ten Speed Press has run out of copies.
Nijland and de Haan plan to send a copy of "King and King" to President Bush in opposition to his proposed constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and have since released a sequel, "King and King and Family," in 2003.
In the second adventure of Gertie and Lee, the newlyweds go on a honeymoon and adopt a child.
"King and King and Family" contains several examples of the obstacles faced by gay couples in adopting a child. "
http://www.dailycal.org/sharticle.php?id=14754
|
|
| Work |
[20 Jun 2007|04:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nay |
] |
I do ok when I don't have my atm card with me. When I do have it, I wreak havoc on my bank account.
I have to leave for work in about 2 minutes, and I've decided I need another job. The job I have currently is so flexible I couldn't ask for a better one, BUTTT its only about 20 hours a week, so what I end up doing is get off work, go hang out with friends till 1am then go home and sleep until 2pm. Then go hang out for a few hours and then go to work.
its a cycle that I don't really like that I'm in. Sure everything is fun, but I feel like I'm wasting a lot of time sleeping, when I could be more productive.
today cody and I are going to the swimming pool. It will be an easy work day.
|
|
| That old banana try |
[16 Jun 2007|02:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sleepy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Techno Love Song- Cocorosie |
] |
Out of spite for open diary because its not working, I'm going to write in here. Hopefully someday I will write equally in both diaries. Someday, someday.
I finally got my pay checks. I don't think I wrote about it in here, but I told delana. The job I have, I turn in time sheets, and the guy mails us our check. Well I hadn't gotten a pay check in a week, and then I was due for another one that I still had not recieved.
It was a pain in my mother fucking ass.
However, I got my pay checks and all is well.
In other news, I got my computer back and its pretty. The guy was like 'yeah you're really lucky, without the insurance it would have been upwards of 700 dollars.' Huh, my dad does do things right occasionally.
|
|
| Paint it black |
[03 Jun 2007|01:01pm] |
Today is the day, I am taking in my lap top to get it fixed. Wish me luck, I hope they don't fuck me over, and I hope that it will be back in about 14 days.
In other news.
I feel like I did in the summer of 2003, when I got this live journal, only I feel like a grown up. I'm not some kid stuck in highschool. I'm actually an adult, and Its fucking awesome.
|
|
| wtf? |
[01 Jun 2007|02:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awesome |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Regina Spektor- On the radio |
] |
An update....again!? I'm thinking about coming back here, I revived my open diary, and now I almost have 500 entries. I may come back to lj, but I wasn't really ever 'here'
I think my mom is vacuuming, because it smells like ass.
I have to go to a wedding today.
This entry will be the briefest update entry ever. This is what has happened over the past x600000000 months.
Mom stepped on lap top, I am finally taking it in to get it fixed on sunday, thus I will be without a laptop for about 2 weeks. I might die. maybe.
Skyler got busted for weed by her mom.
I got a job that pays 8.50 an hour
I got accepted to ku, but I'm going to jccc instead.
I graduated highschool, and got about 500+ dollars for doing it.
Shit is good.
|
|
| Nipple tickler '06 |
[29 Nov 2006|06:47pm] |
|
I dub this winter storm nipple tickler 2006, because when ivy and I got out of the car ivy said some sleet flew down her shirt and tickled her nipple, that is all.
|
|
| man |
[22 Nov 2006|02:57am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pessimistic |
] |
there will probably be some grammatical errors in this entry, SORRY DELANA!
I have a change jar. When I come home every night, I empty my pockets and put my change in it. When I came home tonight my change jar was gone. I know it was there yesterday, and I'm almost sure it was there this morning. I am an only child, thus leaving my parents, my father works all day, and my mother is a stay at home mom, though you could barely call her that.
Let me give you my moms brief history. She has a history of taking money without asking. My father got fed up with it and got his own bank account, then had to hide his check book. My mom has taken money from me before, but for some reason I think she'll stop. There's that little grain of hope in me that thinks she'll just be a good mom and not take money from her daughter. I'm also stubborn, I'm determined to show my dad that she can be a good person, and not take money when its sitting right in front of her. So far I've been proven wrong.
I paint my mom to be this terrible shitty person, but she's not, she's a product of her environment. My mom had a shitty childhood, and my aunt called her 'an emotional tragedy' which I can agree with. It seems like everyone I talked to about this says basically the same thing, I've been acting like a mother to my own mother.
It just hurts so much. She puts me in such a terrible position, I hate the fact that I have to side with my dad more often then not, just because I want to I guess side with them equally, you know? I don't want it to seem like my mom is the bad parent, but its just such a shitty terrible position. Damnit.
I got home at 12:30 and I haven't stopped crying since, its not the fact that I am missing a half full jar of change, but its the fact that I have to start hiding my money from my own mother. My. Own. Mother. It just makes me so sad, because I know she's a product of her shitty childhood, and I hate so much that I can't fix her, I want to, so bad, but I can't, and it hurts so much.
She claims she didn't do it, but I know I didn't take it and spend it, and I know my dad didn't do it, the only person left is my mother, and she's got a history of this. God it hurts, I hate not being able to trust my own mother.
|
|
| hey hey! |
[26 Oct 2006|09:37pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Regina spektor |
] |
that title is there so I get more notes. I need to make a list of things to talk about before I forget them.
My school tower
College jccc
Pro-choice
school today.
I guess I'll start out with school today. Today was a good day. And I decided I don't really mind math. I like it because it feels like I really accomplished something with all the busy work. I like just chugging through math questions. I guess I say that becuase I finished all my math makeup work in about 2 hours today at school.
A nice transitional sentance is the school tower. There was an editorial from a girl at my school in our schools paper the budget. In it, she explained what the construction really was that has been going on since summer began and continued through the school year. Apparently the school board is spending 38,000 dollars to build a 17 foot tower that will also be a ticket selling place for games and such. The reasoning behind this large tower? aside from the lame reason for selling tickets. Well, it appears that spending 38,000 dollars on a 17 foot tower will keep 2 to 3 students from dropping out of school because they will be PROUD of lawrence highschool. Jesus! how did I not know that? The suggestions in the article of how to spend the 38,000 dollars better were along the lines of a new computer lab, better I guess counsaling for kids who want to drop out. In fact, I think having a 17 foot tower to represent lawrence highschool makes me want to drop out more then not having a 17 foot tower.
Next is college, which is also a a nice transition. For a while I've been thinking about going to Johnson county community college. My therapist really thinks highly of it, and my therapist is a very intelligent person. but I can't help worrying, because I'm afraid that if I go to JCCC after to years I won't transfer. I can already see myself doing that. Just getting 2 years then nothing, because thats usually what happens with juco kids. I guess I'll just talk to my therapist about it.
Then pro-choice, which there is no nice transition. I am pro choice and I belong to a website. NARAL pro-choice. Anyways I get this huge thing in the mail that says I have to protect a womans right to choose and all that jazz. So I definately signed the petition, I just think its really interesting to get involved with things like this. Anyways, thats all for now, remember notes are always welcomed.
Btw, still looking for a book to read, an book with an interesting beginning, not a book thats slow in the beginning. I hope thats not too much to ask.
|
|
| illness |
[23 Oct 2006|06:38pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Modern Marvels- cotton! |
] |
I seem to get a cold once a winter. Its just the way things are. This winter/fall however I've gotten my cold early. This worries me slightly becuase I'm afraid getting a cold this early will mean I'm going to get another cold late in winder/early spring. Oh well.
|
|
| Okay fine |
[18 Oct 2006|09:12pm] |
1) Grab the nearest book.
2) Open the book to page 123.
3) Find the fifth sentence.
4) Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5) Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet. Just pick up whatever is closest.
6) Tag five people.
Vermeer: A view of Delft, Anthony Bailey
Ringlets are the favoured style in The Lacemaker, in the Girl reading a letter at an Open Window (who also has a chignon), and in The Guitar Player. Other women have their heads modestly covered with Scarves or hoods, or wrapped in a Silk turban, like the Girl with a Pearl Earring. He liked opainting pearls using various techiniques. In the mid-1660s he counterfeited their likeness with two layers of paint, so aruthur Wheelock tells us: 'A thin greyish one beneath a white highlight- a technique that permits him to depict both their spectacular highlights and their translucence'.
Lets try this again
I'm going to tag philrancid shrijani, pamelonian
|
|
| I tag you pikachu |
[17 Oct 2006|08:12pm] |
1) Grab the nearest book.
2) Open the book to page 123.
3) Find the fifth sentence.
4) Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5) Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet. Just pick up whatever is closest.
6) Tag five people.
Vermeer: A view of Delft, Anthony Bailey
Ringlets are the favoured style in The Lacemaker, in the Girl reading a letter at an Open Window (who also has a chignon), and in The Guitar Player. Other women have their heads modestly covered with Scarves or hoods, or wrapped in a Silk turban, like the Girl with a Pearl Earring. He liked opainting pearls using various techiniques. In the mid-1660s he counterfeited their likeness with two layers of paint, so aruthur Wheelock tells us: 'A thin greyish one beneath a white highlight- a technique that permits him to depict both their spectacular highlights and their translucence'.
Like I said,I tag everyone! You all better read this.
|
|
| Thought I'd cry for you forever |
[17 Sep 2006|09:25pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 chipper |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Rejazz-Regina spektor |
] |
So I gave blood today, then decided to go protest the war, in a march down town. Ivy was sporting a shirt that said 'future casualty' and I was sporting my 'buck fush' shirt. All was well except that it was about 95 degrees outside and since the blood giving I had only had a package of nutterbutter bars and some fruit punch. Thats when things got crazy, I tried to make it to the library to get a drink of water but I had to sit down and I got really dizzy and I couldn't breathe. It was scary, but this guy asked me if I wanted some water. I felt kind of drunk, and the guy was pretty cute, then this girl got me a banana and a granola bar, and the guy gave me some bread. then my dad came and got ivy and I and I went home and then my mom and dad went to get my car, and I was feeling okay but then I got really tingly and had to lay down on my kitchen floor. My dad told me I made his day interesting. Then I ate some sherbert ice cream and took a nap.
So I probably should have known better, but I thought I would be ok, I wasn't doing that much strenuous (sp) activity, but it was probably the heat that did it. Anyways I'm feeling pretty good now and I'm gonna hang out with sarah.
Despite almost fainting, that day was a good day, I got an 'Impeach bush' bumper sticker, AND I signed the petition to get bush impeached. I'm donating plasma on wednesday, and hopefully not passing out.
|
|
| rant |
[28 Aug 2006|10:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 annoyed |
] |
So I babysit right? For money, its my job. And every monday night I amd supposed to babysit from 6-9. Now this is only the second week, but its the second time in a row they've shown up at 10, with their 8 year old son. Okay so its not like I have to get up early or anything right? its not like I'm in school or anything, or that I have homework. That was sarcasm if you didn't catch that. I wouldn't be nearly as mad if they would just call. just fucking call! Say hey becca we're gonna be late. Okay! at least you called. Skyler told me I should just leave at nine.
And then to top it all off, all I wanted when I got home was a peanut butter sandwich. Thats it! And I come home to find, there is no bread.
It sucks because this monday started off well but ended terribly.
|
|
| I'm tired of complaining |
[04 Aug 2006|10:56pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
L'excessive- Carla Bruni |
] |
Something must be done about this dependence on foreign oil. Like many people I know I cannot afford a hybrid, otherwise, i'd do my part. The lawrence bus system sucks utter ass, I know this because I have tried public transportation here, and it blows. so what do I do? I'm tired of sitting around and bitching, I want to do something. You'd think in a country this size, we could all get together and do something, but as far as I know, no one has.
|
|
|
[11 Jul 2006|01:45pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
hide and seek- imogen heap |
] |
I noticed something about myself. When I have money, I tend to spend it on fast food, so my plan of action is to put all of my money in my savings account.
|
|
| United states senate |
[10 Jul 2006|05:02pm] |
|
Guess who got a letter from the united states senate?
I did!
Wanna know why?
Well the letter is regarding a letter I wrote to our local senator sam brownback, about, pharmacists refusing to fill womens birthcontrol because of personal beliefs. I thought that was total bullshit, anyways I wrote him a letter saying it was total bullshit only, I wrote it more elegantly. I also wrote about the Access to Legal Pharmaceuticals Act or "ALPhA" which says something like all pharmacies and pharmacists must fill any perscription regardless of personal beliefs, and I wrote how that was a good idea. And he was just like 'yeah I like to hear from my fellow Kansans.'
Well, I guess its not that exciting, but it was definately a highlight of my day.
|
|
| I am a dirty slut |
[07 Jul 2006|07:59pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Sexy back- Justin Timberlake |
] |
I fucking love the new justin timberlake single.
I did recieve the money the lady owed me.
|
|
| gotcha |
[03 Jul 2006|06:38pm] |
|
I need a name for the lady I babysat for who wouldnt pay me... I don't want to use her real name but its not like any of you know her. I'll call her jane. Anyways I called using skylers house phone today, and she picked up, which proves that she's been avoiding my calls. Anyways I said that I had her house key, and she's like 'oh okay' and then I'm like 'and I can stop by and pick up the money you owe me too.' She was a little flustered after that 'but my bank isn't open today or tomorrow.' whine whine whine so she said wedensday or thursday. I said I'd probably come by wedensday or she could call me... which she probably won't but oh well.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
caliginess's journal